Eight Names

Everyone has 8 names. 1. Your Real Name: Sue Ann 2. Your Gangster Name (first 3 letters of your real name plus -izzle): Sueizzle (sounds like something on the dollar menu at the Sizzler.) 3. Your Detective Name (favorite color & favorite animal): Pink Pug. ('Nuff said. Watch your back.) 4. Your Soap Opera Name (middle name & street you live on): Ann Honey Willow. 5. Your Star Wars Name (first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your middle name): And-An. (Easy to say when you've had wine. Otherwise, pretty lame.) 6. Your Superhero Name (2nd favorite color & favorite drink): Green Wine. (Green Diet Coke doesn't sound very bad-ass.) 7. Your Witness Protection Name (your mother's middle name): Sue (uhhh, doesn't help much.) 8. Your Goth Name (black & the name of one of your pets): Black Changa. (pronounced ChOnga. Not ChAYnga. The first one is so much more goth and cool.) Make your status and see what your names are! Like · · December 3, 2011 at 9:07pm near El Paso

And the packages just keep coming . . . I think I need to leave cookies and hot chocolate on the front porch for our UPS guy. Like · · December 2, 2011 at 6:17pm near El Paso Elaine Dittmer, Eliz Wiggins, Cindy Childress and 2 others like this. Corby Bollweg Keenan Me too! December 2, 2011 at 6:54pm · Like

The Rules of the Game

What my husband said: Ok, are you ready to put the Christmas lights on the house? What I heard: Will you stand on the ground looking pretty, drinking a beverage, and call 911 if I fall off the ladder? What I did: I put on my new coat from Loft, poured up some iced tea, and filled my pocket with m&m's and my phone. What my husband said next: Don't you have a "work" coat? Like an old sweat shirt or something? What I said next (with a confused expression): uhh. . . am I going toooo . . . work? Clearly we were not on the same page about the task at hand. To our credit, though, no one fell off any ladders and we didn't bicker. At all. Not one little bit. Like · · December 1, 2011 at 6:04pm near El Paso Jill Bowling, Claudia Holguin-Sossen, D'Anne Gorman Fodor and 14 others like this. Cinthya Cerda You are so funny! But that is sooooo true! December 1, 2011 at 7:01pm · Like Elaine Dittmer he just has to understand the rules of the game. December 1, 2011 at 8:19pm · Like Patricia PA Frey AHAHAHAHA! I love you! December 1, 2011 at 9:20pm · Like

CheePee

Somewhere between Van Horn and Fort Hancock, Texas. I am eating Cheetos and Sarah has just peed in the Elmo potty. In the car. While it was moving. Me: (thinking) I know I double-bagged that pee. Why do I smell it cutting through the savory scent of processed cheese powder? S: Mama. I smell . . . (crinkling nose) doggies. A: I smell Cheetos. Me: I smell peepee. A: I smell Cheetos AND peepee. Me: you mean you smell CheePee? A: (giggles uncontrollably). Me: (thinking) Ah, yes. Sniglets! Like · · November 30, 2011 at 4:50pm near El Paso Cindy Childress, Keyvan Neal, Patricia PA Frey and 4 others like this. Lisa Anselmo Sarah has some talent- using the elmo potty while the car is moving is impressive. November 30, 2011 at 5:15pm · Like Elaine Dittmer AH, a mother who gets the jokes and even encourages them. Lucky Andrew, lucky Mom. Grab them all! November 30, 2011 at 5:37pm · Like

McAlister's Deli

Love their sweet tea! — at Mcallisters deli midland. Like · · Tag Friends · November 30, 2011 at 12:42pm in Midland, TX Elaine Dittmer likes this. Elaine Dittmer Me: "I'd like iced tea please." Waitress: "Sweet or un?" November 30, 2011 at 2:35pm · Like

Somewhere between Van Horn and Fort Hancock, Texas. I am eating Cheetos and Sarah has just peed in the Elmo potty. In the car. While it was moving.

Me: (thinking) I know I double-bagged that pee. Why do I smell it cutting through the savory scent of processed cheese powder?
S: Mama. I smell . . . (crinkling nose) doggies.
A: I smell Cheetos.
... Me: I smell peepee.
A: I smell Cheetos AND peepee.
Me: you mean you smell CheePee?
A: (giggles uncontrollably).
Me: (thinking) Ah, yes. Sniglets!See More

LikeUnlike · · November 30, 2011 at 4:50pm near El PasoCindy Childress, Keyvan Neal, Patricia PA Frey and 4 others like this.


Lisa Anselmo Sarah has some talent- using the elmo potty while the car is moving is impressive.
November 30, 2011 at 5:15pm · LikeUnlikeElaine Dittmer AH, a mother who gets the jokes and even encourages them. Lucky Andrew, lucky Mom. Grab them all!
November 30, 2011 at 5:37pm · LikeUnlike
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I only want half

So the kids each have a cookie. Andrew finishes his first and says, "I'm still hungry for cookie. Sarah, can I have half of yours?" Knowing this is a major party foul, I expect a swift, deliberate, caustic rejection. Sarah's face snaps into an expression of complete disbelief and she firmly, yet calmly, says "NO." And Andrew, in his most cunning lets-be-reasonable tone of voice says "But Sarah, I only want *half*." Generous, isn't he? :D Like · · November 28, 2011 at 11:01pm near Wichita Falls, TX Eliz Wiggins, Elaine Dittmer and 2 others like this. Dennis Pabis Yep, he's ready for a political career! November 29, 2011 at 7:33am · Like Lester Lawler soon he will just snatch that cookie and eat it and just smile..lol November 29, 2011 at 8:32am · Like Elaine Dittmer Listen it used to work with MY little sister. November 29, 2011 at 9:29am · Like Hollie Wood Blair I think Lester is right on this one! The real surprise will be when she turns around and whallops him! November 29, 2011 at 6:40pm · Like

So the kids each have a cookie. Andrew finishes his first and says, "I'm still hungry for cookie. Sarah, can I have half of yours?" Knowing this is a major party foul, I expect a swift, deliberate, caustic rejection. Sarah's face snaps into an expression of complete disbelief and she firmly, yet calmly, says "NO." And Andrew, in his most cunning lets-be-reasonable tone of voice says "But Sarah, I only want *half*." Generous, isn't he? :D
LikeUnlike · · November 28, 2011 at 11:01pm near Wichita Falls, TX
Eliz Wiggins, Elaine Dittmer and 2 others like this.


Dennis Pabis Yep, he's ready for a political career!
November 29, 2011 at 7:33am · LikeUnlikeLester Lawler soon he will just snatch that cookie and eat it and just smile..lol
November 29, 2011 at 8:32am · LikeUnlikeElaine Dittmer Listen it used to work with MY little sister.
November 29, 2011 at 9:29am · LikeUnlikeHollie Wood Blair I think Lester is right on this one! The real surprise will be when she turns around and whallops him!
November 29, 2011 at 6:40pm · LikeUnlike

Plastic Poop

Found some plastic reindeer poop for sale on etsy.com. Now, I'm not saying poop isn't "art" but I'm not sure this particular product fulfills the criteria of the etsy community. Seriously, *plastic* poop probably isn't handmade and, I'm guessing, requires little craftsmanship. Conversely, the handmade soap that looks like dog poop totally belongs on etsy. It's handmade and does, in fact, require craftsmanship. I'll say that again: making poop-soap requires craftsmanship. (Whaaa?) I know this is true because the poop-soap could have used a little *more* craftsmanship. It looks more like sausage links and just reminds me of syrup and pancakes. In the grass. ANYWHO, no one in my house is getting any form of poop replica in their stocking this year because, even though it would be hilarious, I'm not willing to pay $15 plus S&H for fake poop. Like · · November 27, 2011 at 11:54pm near Wichita Falls, TX Jack Taylor and Elaine Dittmer like this. Lester Lawler you know you want some !!..lol November 28, 2011 at 7:56am · Like Hollie Wood Blair C' mon, Sue Ann...let the inner child out to play... November 28, 2011 at 12:06pm · Like

Found some plastic reindeer poop for sale on etsy.com. Now, I'm not saying poop isn't "art" but I'm not sure this particular product fulfills the criteria of the etsy community. Seriously, *plastic* poop probably isn't handmade and, I'm guessing, requires little craftsmanship. Conversely, the handmade soap that looks like dog poop totally belongs on etsy. It's handmade and does, in fact, require c...raftsmanship. I'll say that again: making poop-soap requires craftsmanship. (Whaaa?) I know this is true because the poop-soap could have used a little *more* craftsmanship. It looks more like sausage links and just reminds me of syrup and pancakes. In the grass. ANYWHO, no one in my house is getting any form of poop replica in their stocking this year because, even though it would be hilarious, I'm not willing to pay $15 plus S&H for fake poop.See More
LikeUnlike · · November 27, 2011 at 11:54pm near Wichita Falls, TX
Jack Taylor and Elaine Dittmer like this.


Lester Lawler you know you want some !!..lol
November 28, 2011 at 7:56am · LikeUnlikeDelete Comment...Mark as SpamReport as Abuse...
Delete CommentMark as SpamHollie Wood Blair C' mon, Sue Ann...let the inner child out to play...
November 28, 2011 at 12:06pm · LikeUnlike